We’re three weeks into 2024, and I still haven’t set any goals for the new year yet. I don’t want to set goals just out of an obligation to do it. When I set them, I want it to be intentional. Goals just for the sake of goals aren’t taking you where you actually want to go, they are taking where you feel like you ‘should’ be going based on outside opinions.
Don’t pressure yourself to lose weight, get fit, start meditating or decluttering your house if you aren’t feeling it. It is only going to make you feel stressed out, and your mental health needs to come first in your decision making process.
A lot of times, we take on these ideas of how our lives ‘should’ be going from our family, friends, partners and social media. We read all this expert advice about getting up at 5am and taking a cold shower and how it is going to give you the most perfect, productive life possible.
But what if your goal isn’t to be productive?
We are human beings, not human doings.
As a human species, we have a tendency to focus way too much on what we do, with very little time left to consider who we are. Who you are is more important than what you do. Your values matter. Your happiness matters. Your mental health matters. YOU matter, just by virtue of being the beautiful human that you are, alive on this planet right now.
Even if you don’t accomplish ANYTHING today, you are still worthy.
Accomplishments don’t last forever.
That spelling bee medal you won in the 3rd grade? You were so proud at the time, but do you think about it every day? Probably not. We have a tendency to sped so little time appreciating the good in our lives right now, because we are so focused on the next goal. We have this forward momentum that we never allow to stop, and it can become exhausting.
Taking time for rest and self-care is just as important as being productive.
In fact, if we push too hard to be productive all the time, our efforts start to go nowhere once we are at a point of mental fatigue. According to CNBC:
Research that attempts to quantify the relationship between hours worked and productivity found that employee output falls sharply after a 50-hour work-week, and falls off a cliff after 55 hours—so much so that someone who puts in 70 hours produces nothing more with those extra 15 hours, according to a study published last year by John Pencavel of Stanford University.
If the exhaustion you face isn’t enough to deter you from answering just one more email at 10pm, maybe you will listen to the science telling you to slow down. At a certain point, you are hitting a brick wall and actually lowering your productivity.
As a chronic overworker, this advice hits home for me. More isn’t always better.
Maybe our New Year’s Resolutions should look more like this:
Take more time for play
Read a fun book
Enjoy your hobbies
Put away your phone
Take naps
Take coffee breaks
Go for a walk
Really listen when your loved ones are talking
Stop answering your emails immediately
Do something today just because you like it
We don’t always need to do more. We don’t always need to run faster. We don’t always need to be striving to achieve something. Remember, you are a human being. Take some time to just BE. And allow yourself to really enjoy it without feeling the guilt that you ‘should’ be doing something else.
Have a wonderful week, my lovelies! Let me know in the comments something you are going to resolve to do this year because it’s FUN! Me? I’m going to read a romance novel my friend wrote, that has been sitting on my table for almost a year now. Enjoy!
Always,
Nicole Dake
I love this perspective! It's something I share and am very aware of. Personally, I love the idea of having a world wide 'check in' or reflective period, but the idea of setting a ton of goals is arbitrary and exhausting.
I'm leading a New Year's reflection workshop next week and am definitely going to be sharing this type of perspective! One idea I had was too ask participants to make a 'not goal list'...for example, I'm embracing that I am not someone who folds my laundry promptly and letting that chaos exist without mental anguish is so much better!
My intentions for this year including playing my instruments more, and reading novels and comics for fun. Oh, and line dancing. It's a new fun thing I've started doing!