Happy Valentines Day, My Lovelies

Some might call this "Singles Awareness Day," But it is an opportunity for self love

I haven’t really taken the time to celebrate Valentines Day since I was a kid. My ex-husband got dumped by his prior fiancé on Valentines, and so it was a sticking spot for him. A reminder of loss. So we never exchanged gifts, or went out for a fancy dinner. My current partner isn’t much about Valentine’s day either. So I haven’t celebrated in 20-something years.

This year, I am spending Valentines day alone in my new apartment. I had a job interview, and an upcoming therapy appointment, but nothing ‘special’ planned. I’m away from my partner and my kids. I could let it get me down, I suppose. But I’m not doing that.

First thing this morning, I was posting my daily affirmations, which for today are all based on self-love. Then, I found a couple of great articles on Medium talking about a self love challenge where you are supposed to write out 100 things you love about yourself. These writers said that it may not come easily to many of us.

Especially if you are a mom or otherwise a caregiver, love for others comes more naturally than love for ourselves. In order to combat this, writing your own list of 100 reasons why you love yourself can have a healing effect. I know it did for me! Even if you can’t do it in one session, you can always come back to it later and add more.

Even if you can only come up with one or two reasons why you love yourself, make it a habit of coming back to that list any time you are feeling down. Write it on your mirror, or on a little piece of paper you can put in your purse. Then, when you are feeling sad, look at your list, and it is sure to perk you up!

Here are some of the reasons why I love myself, to help you get started:

• I am kind.

• I am smart.

• I do yoga.

• I am a good person.

• I am a good mom.

• I have a clean home.

• I prioritize self care.

• I reach out for professional help when needed.

• I prioritize my mental health.

Your reasons don’t have to be huge, long or descriptive if you don’t want them to be. Write down anything. Let it flow. Just being in the flow of writing can be positive for your mental health! Starting a blog or a journaling practice can be very healing for your mind and spirit.

Even when you don’t feel loved or valued by others, you can still love and value yourself. You don’t have to fit a social standard, or do what other people do. You are a unique and special soul, here on this Earth for a reason. You provide enormous value, even if you can’t always see it.

If you are spending time alone this Valentines day, you can take a page out of my book and listen to some Miley Cyrus today to cheer you up!

Even if no one else buys you flowers, chocolates or diamonds today, you can always buy your own. Fill your own cup first. Love yourself. Practice self care. Take a spa day if you want, or lie in bed all day reading a book. And most importantly, don’t guilt about making yourself a priority!

Have a blessed day, my lovelies!

Nicole Dake