Having to Start Over is Harder than I Realized

Why we have to learn to give ourselves grace in difficult situations

Photo by ConvertKit on Unsplash

All my belongings are stuffed into suitcases again. Who knew that starting a new life, in a new place, was going to be so much harder than when I was young? I think as we get older, and get used to being ‘established’ in life, we forget the struggles that we once faced when we were young and just starting out on our own.

I came back to Denver from Germany in mid-December, and since then, just finding stable housing has been a challenge. Nevermind finding a job and getting a new car. I have done it though, finally, and spent my first week gainfully employed at last.

Right now, I am living in an extended-stay hotel, until I find something more permanent. Living the life of a transient wasn’t something I was prepared for when I came back here. I thought I had a place to rent (which didn’t work out) and that it would be easy to find a new job with good qualifications.

But, living in a big city whose transit has been cut back in a post-COVID world makes having a car more of a necessity than ever. I was able to find a cheap set of wheels off of Craigslist, fortunately, and got it checked out by a mechanic.

So many little basics of life become things that we come to take for granted as we get older and become more established in life. We aren’t entry-level in our careers anymore. We have friends we have known for ages. We have homes that we have lived in for years, and we can afford a car repair without it breaking the bank.

Now though, living in a place that is transitional at best, I am seeing a different side of life, one that I had long forgotten existed. Here, people struggle to pay rent on a weekly basis. They work for temp agency, are seeking disability or day labor, or struggle to make ends meet on the minimum wage.

Starting over again from nothing is harder now, too.

The economy isn’t as good as it used to be, and finding a good place to live with affordable rent is more difficult. Finding a good job takes time, and countless rounds of interviews that you can ill-afford to spend. In the meanwhile, you rack up credit card bills that you don’t know how you will pay back.

America isn’t the land of opportunity that it used to be.

More people struggle on a day to day basis than when I was young. Families need two incomes (or more) just to survive. Welfare lines are long. Mothers go without food and other basic necessities to make sure their children have enough. The price of food has skyrocketed.

During these hard times, it is easy to become disheartened. Easy to feel like you will never be able to better your situation. Easy to give up on yourself, your life, and your future.

Is it any wonder that so many people are struggling with mental health issues?

Put plain and simply, life is harder than it used to be.

That is the truth for many people who have fallen to the bottom of the food chain here in America. Living in the extended-stay, I see people who are struggling the way that I am on a daily basis, having to cope with the rising cost of everything while incomes stay stagnant.

I really feel for Gen-Z and younger Millennials who never knew what it was like to be able to get by with just one job for a family of four. That sounds laughable now. But back even in the 80’s when I was growing up, that was a thing. My dad worked, and my mom stayed home, and we weren’t starving and holding up a sign begging for food on the side of the highway.

America, something really needs to give.

We need to find a way to make real change in society, and combat the abject poverty that is beginning to swallow more and more people every day. We need better wages. We need Universal Basic Income to provide a safety net.

People deserve better than working themselves to the bone just to barely survive. That isn’t living at all.

In 2023, Why are People Still Struggling Just to Survive?

Capitalism is Destroying Our Souls and Our Society

With an election year coming up, we need to think about what we really value in society, and then vote accordingly. It takes a village. And right now, we as Americans need to do something to help people who are falling through the cracks.

According to Time Magazine, in 2023:

The U.S. poverty rate saw its largest one-year increase in history. 12.4% of Americans now live in poverty according to new 2022 data from the U.S. census, an increase from 7.4% in 2021. Child poverty also more than doubled last year to 12.4% from 5.2% the year before.

We need to make ourselves aware of the issues that the poor in our society are facing, and act now to do something to make America better. No one deserves to be living paycheck to paycheck, pushing a shopping cart around full of all their belongings and sleeping out in the cold, or worrying about where their next meal will come from.

Coming back here and seeing the changes here in the US since I had been in Germany is quite disheartening. I thought I could easily slip back into the middle class life that I was used to before moving, but it is taking more time, energy and effort than I could have ever imagined.

Building a good life takes years. And these days, those years span longer than they did in the past.

So my loves, I apologize for not writing this last couple of weeks. I was sick. I started a new job. I had to move AGAIN. I was busy surviving. Hopefully, these challenges will pass quickly, and I will be able to be more present with you again here on the newsletter.

Until next time, be well my friends.

Nicole Dake