You Don’t Have to React to Insults in an Over-the-Top Way
But sometimes we still do anyway
So many of us know as moms, that we need to take what kids say and do with a grain of salt. We don’t need to take what they say personally.
Yet, sometimes we do.
Yesterday, my daughter called me the worst mom ever. It really stung.
We were at the supermarket, and she hit her head on the shopping buggy. Before I could even try to console her, she yelled at me.
Since we were leaving the store already, I held in my feelings until we got into the car. Then I let loose a flood of tears. I cried for the whole way home.
They say, “When you know better, you do better” but that isn’t always the case. Yesterday I didn’t do better. I wallowed in self-pity.
To be honesty, I am still feeling a bit self-pitying today.
But I am sitting with my little girl in a nest of pillows she made on the bed, watching the German version of Blippi with her.
I’m still being mom, and doing the best that I can.
Maybe the thing to realize, most of all, is that sometimes the best you can in any given moment isn’t equivalent to your actual best.
We can’t always be perfect, and shaming myself for feeling ‘less than’ as a mom isn’t going to accomplish anything. I know that I’m a good mom. It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things if my daughter insults me.
In the moment though, I felt like my world was coming to an end.
When we are mothers, we pour so much of our hearts and souls into our children, that sometimes we perhaps mistakenly make the assumption that they will see what we do and be grateful.
Sometimes our kids are grateful for us. Sometimes not. Feelings like that can ebb and flow for our little ones from moment to moment.
Kids don’t understand the world in the same ways that we do, and they don’t understand how they are the center of our world. It’s one of those things you don’t really understand until after you have kids.
Being a parent is a unique, and often difficult challenge. But it also has so many beautiful moments. It’s a trade off.
Not everything can possibly be good all the time. But nothing can be bad all the time either.
It is important to remember that in life, we need to take a longer perspective. We need to realize that over time, the good usually does outweigh the bad. And if it doesn’t, then we probably need to re-evaluate our life choices.
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How to Be a Better Parent
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